You can take the pig out of the barnyard but you can’t take the barnyard out of the pig. Or at least that seems to ring true in trying to wrap my brain around our pigs sleep schedule. When we first brought our piglet home she woke throughout the night like a newborn baby. Now before the parental brigade gears up to rebut my comparison, I have earned the privilege of using this statement with confidence as I have also endured sleepless nights with an actual newborn, not the porcine variety. Now back to my lack of sleep. When Elly spent her first nights in our home she woke us every couple of hours. But she didn’t just keep to herself, she woke with scream level squealing while barreling full speed through our house. I chalked this annoyance up to the poor porker being lonely and would sit with her, rubbing her belly until she fell back asleep. This lasted about a month.
4 weeks later:
The pig had adjusted to sleeping at night under a massive pile of blankets at the foot of our bed until about 3am. At the exact stroke of 3 she would leap to her feet honking and squealing for food. Knowing that pigs are extremely intelligent, as well as manipulative we threw pillows over our heads and tried our hardest to ignore her. If any one of us caved and got up to feed the pig, she would expect it every night!!
3am – HONKING
3:30am – ANGRY HONKING
4am – PATHETIC HONKING
4:30am – HOARSE HONKING
Did I mention that pigs honk like geese? Yes, in their rainbow of sounds “goose” is in fact one of them. Typically it’s used in times of great frustration. Starvation in the wee hours of the morning is one of them.
6am – The pig gets food! Hallelujah!
8 (painful) weeks later:
The pig is now sleeping until roughly 5 am. But forget porcine noise making, Elly grew wise to our bedroom door being the perfect distance from the foot of our bed to SLAM together!! The first night she literally sent me leaping to my feet looking for an intruder. Alas, the pig had used her robust snout to slam our door obnoxiously into the foot of our bed. “Elly NO” I sleepily shout and go back to sleep. Moments later she slams the door even harder! You asked for it pig! I shove her out of our room and shut the door. Elly groans, moans, honks, and “hooves” our bedroom door in retaliation. I throw a pillow over my head trying hard to zone her out and fall back asleep. The husband stays sleeping the entire time.
12 (sleepy) weeks later:
Elly is sleeping until about 15 minutes before my alarm goes off. While slamming our bedroom door has proven ineffective in getting an early breakfast, she has taken to lifting our under the bed totes with her iron snout and then dropping them. It creates a crazy loud noise that permeates from under the bed. The first night it happens I literally jump about 5 feet and start panicking. What was that?!?!?! Oh just our angry, morning driven pig wanting food. UGH! I shove the pig out of our room and realizing that I have 10 whole minutes left to sleep throw a pillow over my head and attempt to “rest” for a moment. We have come so far pig!!! Why?!?! I lazily get up and feed the hangry animal. She happily dances and honks at me with excitement. How can I stay mad at that?
The following night:
The pig curls up under a pile of stuffed animals in our daughters room. The husband and I tip toe into our bedroom hoping to not disturb her! We feel like we have won!! Not so fast though sleep deprived parents! The daughter wakes us up in the middle of the night. “The pig is being ANNOYING…”